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Trouble with sex: understanding hypersexuality and sex addiction

An illustration of an unmade bed with an open laptop, a Hitachi wand, crumpled tissues, a bra and wrinkled clothes on top. There is also a bottle of lube on a table next to the bed.
Charnel Hunter

Compulsive sexual behavior has many names and no one clear diagnosis. But what is agreed upon is that when sex prohibits you from living life the way you want, that’s an issue. And there is help available.

Hypersexuality, sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior are all terms used to describe the experience of those who struggle with sexual urges and behaviors to the point that it interferes with work, relationships and everyday life.

In this episode, host Anita Rao breaks down misconceptions around hypersexuality with sex-positive psychologist Dr. Krista Nabar, who is the executive director and founder of the Carolina Sexual Wellness Center and has a doctorate in clinical psychology. Krista also shares her research into causes, symptoms and treatment methods for hypersexuality.

Then, Anita talks with author Erica Garza about her experience with sex addiction and her road to recovery, which she documents in her memoir “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction.” Mz. Cici, a content creator who raises awareness about hypersexuality on social media due to her own diagnosis, joins the conversation as well.

Special thanks to author Sue William Silverman, the author of “Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey Through Sexual Addiction,” for sharing her story with us.

Hypersexuality: Commonly Asked Questions

What is hypersexuality?

Hypersexuality, also called sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, “means people who engage in too much sex or sexual behavior despite having negative consequences,” said Dr. Krista Nabar of the Carolina Sexual Wellness Center.

But since there’s no “normal” sexual behavior, what defines “too much” varies situationally.

What *isn’t* hypersexuality?

Hypersexuality ≠ sex offending

Those who experience hypersexuality and those who engage in illegal boundary crossing behavior like sex offending are two distinct groups of people.

While there is some overlap, the conflation occurs out of a cultural stigma around sex, Dr. Nabar said. “We can cognitively organize what's happening if we just demonize both groups and put them in [the ‘bad sex’ box].”

What are the causes?

Issues with sexual behavior can arise as a coping mechanism for negative experiences, whether that has to do with mental health, relationship difficulties, self-esteem issues or conflict at work, Dr. Nabar said.

But, she added, the overarching answer is: unknown. Medical experts are still conducting research to better understand hypersexuality.

How is it treated?

Treatment is highly individualized. But routes people pursue include therapy, medication (depending on the cause) and 12 step groups.

Please note: This episode originally aired January 20, 2023.

Kaia Findlay is the lead producer of Embodied, WUNC's weekly podcast and radio show about sex, relationships and health. Kaia first joined the WUNC team in 2020 as a producer for The State of Things.
Anita Rao is an award-winning journalist, host, creator, and executive editor of "Embodied," a weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships & health.