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How A Mother Learned To Connect Without Language

The logo for Embodied, which features a person with brown skin wearing yellow pants, a white shirt and white glasses pulling back a starry curtain of the silhouette of a person that is roughly twice as large as the person in yellow pants. The word "Embodied" is at the top with the WUNC logo directly underneath it and the PRX logo in the bottom righthand corner of the illustration. All of the text is in white, and the background of the illustration is light blue.

An anthropologist questions the connection between language and relationship-building while raising her multiply disabled daughter, who doesn’t communicate with words, signs or symbols.

How do you care for someone you struggle to communicate with … and can never fully understand? That's the question anthropologist Danilyn Rutherford has been wrestling with for decades — ever since it became clear that her daughter Millie would never speak, sign or use symbols to express herself.

Danilyn talks with host Anita Rao about mothering a multiply-disabled child and how her relationship with Millie has challenged her beliefs about the importance of language for human connection.

Danilyn Rutherford is the author of “Beautiful Mystery: Living in a Wordless World.”

Read the transcript

Kaia Findlay is the lead producer of Embodied, WUNC's weekly podcast and radio show about sex, relationships and health. Kaia first joined the WUNC team in 2020 as a producer for The State of Things.
Anita Rao is an award-winning journalist, host, creator, and executive editor of "Embodied," a weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships & health.
Amanda Magnus is the executive producer of Embodied, a weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships and health. She has also worked on other WUNC shows including Tested and CREEP.
Wilson Sayre is WUNC's Director of Digital Content leading our podcasting strategy and initiatives. She has worn many hats in the audio world as an editor, producer, consultant and team lead. Wilson was Managing Producer at Pushkin (previously Transmitter Media) where she helped launch shows like Am I Normal, the TED Interview and The Heist. Before that, she served as Executive Producer at Capitol Broadcasting Company and lead reporter for The City podcast from USA Today. Prior to that, she covered social safety net programs at WLRN, Miami's NPR member station. There, she founded the station's youth radio program. Wilson's work has been recognized by the Daniel Schorr Journalism Prize and national Edward R. Murrow Awards. Wilson grew up in North Carolina and enjoys playing banjo and eating chocolate, usually not at the same time.