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‘Integrating the stuff that scares you’: life with schizophrenia

 An illustration of a masculine-presenting, brown-skinned person with short brown hair, wearing a purple hoodie, sitting at a desk. He is using a laptop. On his right are a stack of books, and a vining plant. Several hallucinated figures surround him.
Charnel Hunter

The range of diagnoses that make up schizophrenia spectrum disorders are hard to define and tricky to diagnose. An author, an artist and a blogger tell their own stories about experiencing schizophrenia.

In 2005, writer Esmé Weijun Wang experienced her first symptoms of psychosis while in the shower. She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years prior, and while her psychiatrist changed her medication after hearing about the new symptoms, it wasn’t until eight years later that Esmé received a new diagnosis: schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.

Schizophrenia affects about 1% of the American adult population. But that number grows when accounting for the full range of schizophrenia spectrum disorders, which includes schizoaffective disorder — which is, as Esmé describes it, a “weird marriage between the schizophrenias and a mood disorder.”

Host Anita Rao talks with Esmé about self-advocacy, the medical system, relationships and her book “The Collected Schizophrenias.” Anita also talks with artist and animator Christopher Grant about how the physical act of drawing helps him get through moments of psychosis.

Blogger, mental health advocate and author Ashley Smith also joins the conversation to talk about parenting as a person with schizophrenia and how she approaches mental health conversations with her 11-year-old son.

Kaia Findlay is the lead producer of Embodied, WUNC's weekly podcast and radio show about sex, relationships and health. Kaia first joined the WUNC team in 2020 as a producer for The State of Things.
Anita Rao is an award-winning journalist, host, creator, and executive editor of "Embodied," a weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships & health.