Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jun 11, 2016
Originally published on June 11, 2016 11:28 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Well Peter, for the first time since I've been here - and that's a couple years - we're in a three-way tie.

BRIAN BABYLON: Oh, goody.

SAGAL: That's exciting.

FAITH SALIE: That is exciting.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, you know what I'm going to do?

BABYLON: Going to...

SALIE: Just let us all win.

SAGAL: I'm just going to randomly pick people to go first. Brian, you're going to go first.

BABYLON: OK.

SAGAL: That's what we're going to do. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Senator Mark Kirk of Illinois rescinded his endorsement of blank...

BABYLON: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hundreds of people in Arizona were evacuated from their homes on Thursday as a blank spread to over 700 acres.

BABYLON: A wildfire.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a major blow to Cheeseheads everywhere, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers revealed this week that he no longer blanks.

BABYLON: He no longer is a real American.

SAGAL: He no longer...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Eats cheese. On Thursday, the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry named four new elements to the blank.

BABYLON: Periodic table.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, dating app Tinder announced it was banning users under the age of blank.

BABYLON: Eighteen.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pair of thieves in France instantly regretted their decision to rob a...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Local McDonald’s when blank.

BABYLON: When - oh, when they didn't have any fries?

SAGAL: No, when 11 of the diners in McDonald's turned out to be elite police commandos.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The two armed robbers entered the McDonald's, fired their guns in the air and stole all the money from the registers without realizing that an elite special operations team had just decided to come in for Big Macs. The team leader says they were able to neutralize the threat quickly, and funeral services for the Hamburglar are scheduled for next week.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right, 8 more points. He now has 11 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right...

(APPLAUSE)

BABYLON: For now.

SAGAL: Faith, you're going to be up next. Here is your first question. Following a shooting in Tel Aviv on Wednesday, Israel suspended entry permits from blank.

SALIE: Palestine.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the aide who helped set up Hillary Clinton's blank was granted partial immunity.

SALIE: Email server.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a French court fined blank almost a million dollars for running an illegal taxi service.

SALIE: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, insiders from the Trump campaign said they were nervous the candidate would announce his blank pick on Twitter.

SALIE: Vice presidential?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The editor of Paul Ryan’s endorsement of Donald Trump apologized for blanking.

SALIE: Endorsing Donald Trump.

SAGAL: No. He edited it down to exactly 666 words.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the International Tennis Federation gave blank a two-year suspension for doping.

SALIE: Sharapova.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, NASA reported that the universe is blanking faster than previously thought.

SALIE: Expanding.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Trying to get away from Donald Trump. The Pan-American Hockey Tournament started on Monday, and Brazil's coach...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Says he’s already identified his team’s biggest weakness. It's blank.

SALIE: Zika.

SAGAL: No, the biggest weakness on the Brazil hockey team is that no one knows how to skate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Brazil's coach said his hockey players really only have three problems - quote, "turning left, turning right and stopping."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This means amazingly there's an Olympics Brazil is even less prepared for than the one they're holding this summer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Six right, 12 more points. She takes the lead with 15 over Brian.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So Peter is the last of our panelists. How many does he need to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie, seven to win.

SAGAL: Here we go Peter, this is for the game.

PETER GROSZ: OK.

SAGAL: It's a tall order. On Thursday, 15,000 people gathered in Louisville’s Freedom Hall for blank’s funeral.

GROSZ: Muhammad Ali.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Shortly after receiving her endorsement from President Obama, Hillary Clinton was also endorsed by blank.

GROSZ: Oh, Elizabeth Warren.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Seattle Metro announced Tuesday that it was removing a trash bin from one of its stops because blank.

GROSZ: It was on the tracks.

SAGAL: No, too many people were putting trash in it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Novak Djokovic became the first man in 45 years to hold all four major blank titles.

GROSZ: Tennis grand slams.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, after successfully auditioning for "So You Think You Can Dance..."

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A 12-year old contestant celebrated by blanking.

GROSZ: Breaking both his legs.

SAGAL: No, she celebrated by vomiting on Paula Abdul.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Sixth-Grader Tahani Anderson auditioned for the show in Chicago, performing an energetic routine to Beyonce’s “Countdown” filled with spinning, twirling, handsprings. After the judges advanced her to the next round, Tahani went to give them hugs and proceeded to throw up all over Paula Abdul. Says Tahani - and this is a real and really delightful quote - "I hugged Paula and she just squeezed me too tight and all the happiness came out on her jacket."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Peter Grosz do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got three right, 6 more points, 9 total. But not enough to win against Faith. She's the winner this week.

SAGAL: Congratulations Faith. I saw that coming a mile away.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what Bernie Sanders will do once he finally drops out of the presidential race.

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